MosaicSoul

Another breeze kicked up, scattering the dead leaves littering the hard dirt. It nipped through Tabetha’s clothes, goosebumps pebbling her arms. She probably should’ve worn a jacket, but she’d been warm all day, so chafing her arms was good enough.
“Tabetha?” A woman’s voice; her mother’s voice. Tabetha sighed and closed her eyes. Everything seemed so loud tonight. There was a ringing in her ears, and she wanted only to go home and curl up with a book and some tea.
“Beth? Bethie?” Tabetha grimaced and resisted the urge to reach up and pull her hair. She loved her mom, but that nickname… Bethie. As if she were three and not twenty-six! Oh, well. It was just the way her mom was. She loved using nicknames. Her name was called again. She had agreed to help take her nieces and nephews trick-or-treating. She shouldn’t have. Perhaps she was coming down with something, and if that were the case, she didn’t want them getting sick.
“I’ll be right there!” A pile of crumbling leaves rushed past her shoes as she caught up to them.
“There you are, dear. Is everything all right?”
“Just great, mom.”
“Aunt Beth?” There was a tug on her sleeve.
“What’s up, Gracy?”
“Aunt Beth, we’ve been walking for a long time. My legs are tired.”
“Well now, we can’t have that, can we? You’ve still got oodles of candy to get.” Tabetha swung little Grace, no more than four, up into her arms and almost gasped. Why did her slight frame feel so heavy tonight? Tabetha took a huge lungful of the crisp October air and let it out slowly. That helped just a little. She jostled her niece to get a better hold and kept walking. A dark blue car pulled up alongside the opposite curb, the horn letting out a cheerful little toot. The window rolled down, revealing a grinning woman in her thirty’s.
“Mama!” Grace squirmed to get down from Tabetha’s arms. Tabetha laughed and released her. Fatigue forgotten, Grace hurried to the car, her little legs scissoring across the pavement.
“Hi, Katie, dear.” Their mom called. Kate’s other kids followed closely after Grace.
“Thanks for taking them until I got back.” Kate called back as the children clambered into the back seat. Bonnie, only a year younger than Kate, stopped walking to let Tabetha catch up.
“You look flushed. Everything Okay?” Tabetha was about to answer when their mom’s voice interrupted.
“Bethie, Kate has some drinks for us, would you grab the cooler from her trunk?” Tabetha did, snatching a bottle of water for herself and a sparkling iced tea for Bonnie. Handing it over, she made a face.
“At least you and Kate don’t have nicknames like mine.”
“Wanna bet?” Bonnie took a sip of her drink. “Try Bonbon.” Tabetha choked on her water, causing Bonnie to thump her on the back.
“You… you’re kidding, right?”
“Don’t I wish!” Tabetha bit the inside of her cheek and tried valiantly not to burst out laughing.
“Okay,” she gasped out, “you win. Bonbon is officially worse than Bethie!” Bonnie scowled, but her lips were twitching. They both finally lost the battle and laughed. When their mom glanced over her shoulder and lifted her eyebrows, it only caused them to laugh harder.

***

The hissing grew louder as the wind picked up; the silvery moonlight waned as dark clouds slid over the sky. Tabetha looked up and breathed in the ozone filled air. She was beginning to feel better. The insistent ring in her ears was lessening, and she didn’t feel so warm now. Everything still seemed sharp, but at least her ears no longer hurt. A flicker of light caught her attention. She looked around but didn’t spot the source until she glanced up again. There, another tiny flash. A low rumble followed. Tabetha grinned and shook her head slightly as the wind tossed her whiskey-colored hair. She thought about all those scary cartoons and movies. In those settings, there were always big flashes of blinding lightning and loud, teeth rattling claps of thunder. They were cute, they were dramatic, and she wouldn’t argue that the noisy, raging storms could give someone a fright, but to her, this was delightfully spooky in a different way. It was a little less predictable. You could hear the different sounds of the wind as it moved through trees and buildings. The irregular pulses of lightning were emphasized with low rumbles, like the growling of some creature prowling closer and closer. The air felt slightly charged with electric anticipation. Leaves were tumbling all over the dying grass and cement, the skittering, scritching sound adding to the ambience. She was alone in this area, though occasionally she heard the distant swoosh of vehicles. A tiny droplet of water landed on the tip of her nose. Another landed on her head a few seconds later. The hair on the nape of her neck and her arms stood on end when the next gust of wind seemed to call to her, whispering “Come… Tabetha… Come to me. Follow me.” Tabetha stopped walking and looked around. Seeing no one, she sped her pace a bit. Her house was only a block away, and she was thankful; the chill in the night had finally found her. She heard it again with the next eddy of wind. It seemed to say her name slowly. Tabetha shivered visibly and rubbed her arms.
“Get a grip. It’s been a long day. It is Halloween, after all. It’s just your imagination.” She mumbled to herself as she walked quickly down the sidewalk. She regretted now not taking her car. Definitely spooky, she decided as she sucked in a bracing breath. She wasn’t sure why she felt on edge. Normally she didn’t get rattled so easily, and although she didn’t go all out for this holiday, she did usually enjoy herself, even if only for the kids. She saw her car up ahead, her stone colored two bedroom home a heartbeat later.

***

Tabetha sighed as she sipped her Earl Gray. A Light rain drummed against the windows, the thunder making the house tremble slightly as it rolled through the air. The flames in the fireplace snapped and popped gently as they shared their warmth. There was a furnace as well, if it was needed, but Tabetha loved the soothing amber light of a fire. Another advantage was that she could control the ambient temperature of every room even more, while saving more money. Each fireplace was small, but they added touches of cozy charm to her home. She turned the page of her book and smiled. Tabetha was so absorbed in the story that she didn’t notice at first that the fire was growing higher. She gave a startled gasp and dropped her book when the flames gave a final woosh and flared to the top of the opening. It seemed to dance wildly for a moment, then, the center of the fire morphed into… a face? A face was in the flames? No, part of the flames. Tabetha reached for her teacup, lifting it to her lips but never taking a sip. Her hands were trembling so much that the liquid inside sloshed.
“This isn’t real, this isn’t real… it’s just my imagination. I’ve been reading too much horror and fantasy books, that’s all!” The whispers left her lips like a mantra.
“Fear not.” The face said in a hissing voice. Tabetha just stared owlishly. Seriously? Fear not?
“Well then, I should just skip off to dreamland, shouldn’t I?” Tabetha had no idea where those words had come from. She cringed, waiting for some kind of retribution. Instead, it laughed, releasing a gentle plume of smoke, the sound like that of leaves rubbing against grass and sand. Though the sound wasn’t much better, for some reason, Tabetha felt a slight bit of the tension ease from her spine.
“I’m here to help you.” The face explained.
“Help me? With what?” Another laugh, softer this time.
“You don’t belong in this place, have never belonged here, actually.”
“Oh, no, wait, don’t tell me, please.” Tabetha held up a hand, took the last drink of tea, and set the cup down before continuing. “You’re joking, right? I’m asleep. I dozed while reading and now I’m dreaming.”
“I promise you, you are not dreaming and this is very real.”
“Next, you’re going to say that I have a great destiny that I need to fulfil. That I’m the captured daughter of a lost and crumbling empire, and I need to come back now at just the right time to help my needy people.”
“Well—”
“Or maybe that my life is in danger, so now I need to be the secret warrior queen that I actually am.”
“That isn’t—”
“I have some secret hidden deep within myself that someone is after because it would mean their undoing.”
“What—”
“I was switched with a changeling at birth and now I can’t stay here, I need to make an important decision or some kind of sacrifice or else I’ll die. Or you want to convince me to join the dark side because I’ve got some secret powers that I know nothing about, and you want to use me to win some kind of needless war.” Silence filled the room for a few moments. The face of flames just blinked several times, the lips parted ever so slightly.
“Um, no. Well, not really. I mean… that is to say… everyone can have a destiny, but most of your guesses are wrong. You do have a story, but nothing so, erm, morbid, twisted or secret. Grandiose adventures are not required of you.”
“Oh. Well, what, then?” Was all Tabetha could think to say.
“There are… small bits of your guesses that are correct. You really should come with me, at least until you talk to lady Silvia.” Tabetha noticed then that the face was beginning to waver. Despite her better judgment, she slowly rose and stepped closer to the hearth.
“Lady Silvia?” She stepped closer still when the face wavered again.
“Yes, she is a seer. She can explain better than I can.” Tabetha took another step, then hesitated. “Please hurry, I can only hold this connection for a time.”
“I… don’t know what to do. How do I come with you?”
“Just walk through.”
Tabetha was about to ask what that meant when the flames danced again. To her amazement, they separated like stage curtains. Tabetha gaped at the dark opening. She was supposed to walk into that? As she stepped forward, she asked herself what on earth she was doing. She felt the pillars of heat around her, then she was standing in a stone chamber, a fireplace at her back. A woman rose from a table near the center of the room and closed the distance between them.
“Hello, Tabetha, I’m Silvia.”
“I’m pleased to meet you, Lady Silvia.” Tabetha said, almost mechanically, as she shook the hand that was offered to her.
“None of this Lady business.” Silvia flapped her wrist.
“The, um, whatever it was that brought me here said you needed to talk to me?” Silvia gave a nod of confirmation. “All right, so, if I’m not in danger or have some sort of great and terrible destiny, then what’s all this about?”
“Come, have a seat.” Silvia gestured to a comfortable-looking chair. “Would you like some tea?” Tabetha nodded after a moment and gave Silvia a closer study as she poured shimmering brown liquid into a small cup decorated with moons, suns and stars. Tabetha wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Silvia looked to be only a bit older than Kate. She was slightly plump and looked to be about five foot three. She had warm hazel eyes and glossy chestnut hair that reached just past her shoulders. She wore a periwinkle blue dress, a pair of soft gray and cream leggings, a matching shawl fastened with a white opal brooch and a pair of comfortable looking cream colored canvas shoes. The matching opal beads of her bracelet caught the firelight, the semitranslucent colors glinting as she handed the cup to Tabetha.
“I’m not quite sure where to start.”
“From the beginning would be nice.”
“I suppose it would be, yes.” Silvia smiled and a twinkle crept into her eyes. “We’ve been trying to find you for a long time.”
“And yet I have no harrowing destiny?”
“Not… as such, no.” Silvia looked thoughtfully into her teacup. “You see… you were never meant to become a changeling. When you were very small, your family was traveling. At some point they crossed paths with another family. You weren’t identical, but I guess you both were young enough and looked enough alike that you got mixed up. We’re not sure if it was just… an afternoon roaming a park or if one of you got lost and wandered around, but it happened nonetheless.”
“Hang on just a minute. So, you’re saying I was right after all.” Silvia shook her head.
“You don’t really have to stay here if you don’t want to, but there are some things you should know.”
“Okay, such as?” Tabetha's heart raced, and her thoughts swirled in confusion, despite knowing that, on some small level, she’d been right.
“Well, like I said, the mix-up happened. In this realm, we don’t obtain our magic until we turn thirteen. Sometimes a bit before then. And, because we also age differently, thirteen is when we’re generally considered adults. You were brought to the mortal realm at such a young age that you grew a bit differently, but in general, technically you’re thirteen here. You would still have magic, even if you were to stay there. Your aging would still slow down, and you’d have no idea what was going on or how to refine and control your power.” A pause, then Tabetha spoke, her tone flat with numb disbelief.
“So, you’re saying I’m immortal.”
“About as close as you can get, yeah. There are ways we can be killed, but barring that, we live on and on.” Silvia eyed Tabetha thoughtfully. “You’re twenty-six in mortal years, right? Thirteen is half that. The aging process isn’t exact, but that’s the general idea. Once you hit thirty mortal years, you’d be about seventeen or eighteen. And here, once you enter your thirties, usually somewhere around thirty-five or thirty-six, you’ve basically stopped aging. The latest it’ll stop here is forty.” After a pregnant silence, all Tabetha could think to say was,
“The fire… was that you?” She knew she should ask other questions, but they were like pieces of opaque glass floating around in her mind. Silvia shook her head.
“There are those here who can communicate through the elements. They don’t show themselves that much.”
“You mean gods.” Tabetha didn’t pose it as a question.
“I wouldn’t call them that. They’re more like spirits.” Tabetha could only nod. Silvia smiled kindly. “You can rest here if you’d like, unless you’d rather go back to your house?” Right then Tabetha wasn’t sure what she wanted. She felt better physically now than she had all day.
“Is my name even Tabetha?” She blurted.
“Actually, yes. Your name isn’t the most common, but it isn’t the least, either. Both of you are named Tabetha. We don’t stand on last names here, at least not traditionally. You can have one if you want. Sometimes when two people marry, they’ll choose a last name. A good number of long family lines have one as well.”
“I’ll stay, at least for now.” Tabetha blurted again. Silvia simply nodded in understanding.
“Just take some time and rest.” She rose and made her way to the archway. “I’ve got a guest room. Come, I’ll show you.”

***

Tabetha gazed into the fire that had been lit in the guest room, half wondering if another fire spirit would appear. It was interesting, she thought, how she’d always wished for something like this when she was younger. To be a witch or mage, a vampireess, shapeshifter or even one of the Fae folk. There were times, a good many times, when she’d felt that everything around her was extremely mundane and flat. She frowned in thought, restlessly flexing her limbs beneath the blanket. She did feel stronger. Not exactly younger, just more… vibrant and lithe. She felt as if she had more vitality pumping through her veins now. Her physical appearance hadn’t changed, though. There was also the fire to consider. Unless she was hallucinating, she’d walked between two pillars of fire and, instead of smacking into the back of her fireplace, had ended up in a different room of a different house. Tabetha sighed and snuggled deeper into the mattress. She still didn’t know how all of this worked, but nothing else really made much sense.

***

The morning sun streamed in through a window that Tabetha hadn’t noticed when she’d first arrived. Silvia greeted her as she set a plate of eggs, potatoes, bread, and sausage on the table. Tabetha sniffed the air appreciatively and was surprised to smell coffee. She wondered blearily how this realm had coffee, but she didn’t think about it too much as she grabbed the mug and tipped it to her lips. It was just the right temperature. Silvia laughed as Tabetha moaned into the cup, her throat working as she drank deeply.
“Thank goodness thirteen-year-olds are allowed to have coffee!” Silvia snickered at that and held out the pot.
“Want another?” Tabetha nodded in thanks as she began devouring the food. She sighed when she finally came up for air.
“That was fabulous. Thanks for feeding me.”
“No problem.” Silvia’s hazel eyes twinkled mischievously. “I’ll remember to make three pots of coffee next time you’re over for breakfast.” The tips of Tabetha’s ears turned pink.
“How… would this work? If I stay, I mean. What do I do? I mean, I’ve had this whole other life; a separate existence. And what about my family?”
“We have mediums. They all have different abilities, but some can… hmmm… they would have to swap your lives. They can take and give memories and feelings up to a certain point.”
“And that’s what they would do for us? We would essentially have each other’s memories and the feelings associated with them?”
“You got it. It’s not easy magic, so it’ll take several minutes. Some things may have to be tweaked slightly, but that can’t be determined until it has started.” Tabetha nodded after a moment. Silvia smiled and stood, her hand extended.
“I think I have someone in mind. It’s not far. Follow me.”
“What about the other girl and her… erm… my family?” Silvia only smiled knowingly. The walk wasn’t far, only four houses down. Tabetha stopped dead after they got into the room. All she could do was stand there, mouth agape. The feeling that moved through her upon seeing the whiskey haired woman went deeper than the marrow of her bones. A whirlwind of emotions engulfed her — a mixture of joy, curiosity, and a hint of longing for the family she hadn’t known. Tabetha knew instantly that this was her birth mother.
“Shelby, this is—” Before Silvia could make the introduction, Shelby gasped.
Oh my… Tabby?” Tabetha blinked, but then something struck within her; she liked Tabby better than Bethie. Tabby reminded her of a cat. She’d always loved cats and had wanted one for a long time now. The next instant, Shelby and Tabetha were locked in an embrace. Tabetha didn’t really have memories of this place, but the feel of the arms wrapped tightly around her felt right and also familiar. She loved the family that she had always known, yes, but this was different. The connection had been instantaneous, strong, and instinctual. Tabetha would’ve known even had she been blindfolded. Just then another woman appeared. Tabetha had the feeling she was looking in a mirror. It lasted no more than a breath. You could see the differences if you really looked closely. The other woman’s hair was just a bit straighter and a little lighter, she was about half an inch shorter, her eyes were just the tiniest bit farther apart with thinner lashes, and her lips were slightly wider. All the women just stood and looked at one another for a moment or two.
“Well, I, uh, assume you’re here for the switch?” Shelby asked. Tabetha swallowed and nodded. It fleetingly occurred to her that she hadn’t needed to think about her decision for long, but she also knew that being here felt righter than anything else. Shelby nodded and moved between the two younger women and took their hands. She closed her eyes and went still. Tabetha took a deep breath. After a moment, she began to feel different, like she was floating in water, completely submerged, but still able to breathe. Her memories went by like pages turning in a lovingly worn tome. The feelings that were moving through her body were hard to describe, but she imagined that the book of her life was being read and absorbed, the pages becoming more faded and softer. The book was then closed and placed in a cedar chest. Then she was reading a book, soaking up every page, emotions matching the words and pictures. Skating on a frozen lake as a little girl. Trying different sports. Fleeting images of a girl wondering if there’s something wrong with her because her magic never manifested. More quick flashes of a longing to belong, for a different kind of life, which seemed to meld with her own thoughts. Tabetha noticed then that she still had her whole personality. If a memory didn’t align with her interests, the page would blur and muddle, almost as if being dissolved by the viscosity around her, and morph into something new. Interest in history, for example, was replaced with interest in art, and makeup and fashion with books and music. All at once the feeling of being suspended in water vanished. Tabetha blinked several times. Shelby weaved on her feet. Silvia quickly took her arm and led her to a chair, which caused a zing of worry in Tabetha.
“She’ll be all right; it passes in a few moments.” Silvia said reassuringly when she caught Tabetha’s concerned look. Only then did Tabetha wonder where her almost doppelganger had gone. Spotting a window, she hurried over to look. Silvia joined her and they both saw Tabetha, the human Bethie, walking toward the tree line; her feet seemed to move faster and faster. Silvia raised her eyebrows in question. A look of concentration crossed her face. Tabetha let out a soft gasp when Silvia’s eyes began to glow.
“Ah, the earth spirit will lead her back.” They watched as two trees stretched their branches gracefully to form an arch high overhead. The moment Bethie passed under it, she simply vanished. Tabetha wandered over to an empty chair and sank into it, feeling the same, and yet different.
“I guess I need to figure out what my magic is.” She murmured somewhat absently.”
“Given all that’s happened, I think you’re allowed to give it some time, dear.” Silvia said.
“That’s right. It’ll come.” Shelby inserted. “Right now, you should try and get settled in. You can stay here until you find a place if you’d like.”

***

Over the next few days, Tabetha explored the area. It was a charming place. An array of intriguing shops, some radiating with magical auras, dotted the winding cobblestone streets. Some of them used electricity, and some used lanterns. There were street lights, though. The main paths were paved, but there were a lot more cobblestone and packed dirt trails. There were also directional signs in good supply, along with house numbers, most with a mailbox. The grocery stores were more like fresh markets, though there were small sections of canned and boxed food. There was at least one café and even a soup kitchen. There was what looked to be a magic shop with all sorts of things displayed in the windows and on the shelves. She had even found, to her delight, a library! She glanced at the magic shop; she hadn’t gone in there yet. With a sigh, Tabetha pushed open the door. There were so many different things—hats, cards, brooms, cauldrons, wands, crystals, thick leather bound books, bags and containers of powders, long robes, and even a small selection of daggers and swords, which Tabetha assumed were either imbued with special power, or made for specific magical classes. It could be that she was just overwhelmed, but nothing was really jumping out at her. She backed out of the shop and leaned against the wall. Another building off to one side grabbed her attention. The glass door was covered with a rainbow assortment of paw prints. Tabetha moved towards it like a moth to flame. A little bell tinkled as she pushed the door open. Tabetha grinned in delight. There were animals everywhere! Frogs with cute bulging eyes, lizards, birds… and cats! She chuckled as a clumsy little frog tried to jump on a big leaf and tumbled onto its back. She walked around a bit, drawing ever closer to the felines. Tabetha felt something rub against her legs and looked down to find the cutest little Bengel cat looking up at her. She knelt and reached out a hand to stroke its soft fur. It purred loudly and moved closer, and its little pink tongue poked out and licked her other hand. Tabetha fell in love on the spot.
“Hmm. I wonder if you have a name.”
“I do.”
“Oh!” Tabetha reared back in surprise, almost landing butt-first on the floor. The voice in her mind spoke again.
“It’s okay. We chose each other. My name is Kishi.”
“Chose? You mean… you’re like my familiar?”
“I’m not like your familiar, I am your familiar.”
“I see.” Tabetha pulled in a deep breath. “I wish I could make a glass of water appear… just like that.” She snapped her fingers and squealed when a glass of cool water appeared in her hand. She was so startled she nearly dropped it. Instead, she stared at it for a moment, then guzzled it down. Kishi purred again, and Tabetha could have sworn she heard a soft chuckle in her mind.
“You haven’t told me your name yet.” Kishi reminded her.
“Oh! I’m Tabby. Or, I mean Tabetha.”
“I like Tabby.”
“I’ll bet you do.” Tabetha stood. She smiled when she banished the empty glass. She started when Kishi spoke into her mind again.
“You won’t know what else you’re able to do until you start trying different things.”
“Hmm. Okay,” Tabetha said out loud, “So I can talk back to you silently and conjure things up. I wonder what this makes me. A sorceress? A witch? A mage?” She reminded herself to find someone to ask for advice as she paid for her purchases. As she walked through the city, she noticed some of the houses that had decorated with pine and berry wreaths, baskets of little gourds by the door, and even one that had strung red, green and gold lights along the eaves. Tabetha stopped. Until now she’d never really thought about other holidays and how residents might or might not celebrate. She’d just thought this was just some kind of permanent Halloween place. Tabetha couldn’t help herself; she started laughing at her silliness. She felt light as she and Kishi stepped inside their house; she was filled with festive holiday spirit.

I sit down with my cup of coffee, my fingers hovering over the keys, ready to spill forth my prolific words. Only… They don’t begin their dance. My head begins to fill with all my recent experiences—so many experiences. Then… Something very familiar… and I let it happen… Because now I want it to happen. They blur into a silver mist. I drift through this fog gently, lazily. It is warm here. A breeze tugs at my clothes and hair playfully. The air is perfumed with clary sage, myrrh, Jasmine, and rose. I smile as I inhale slowly, letting my eyes drift closed. I begin to notice a sound. A very soft sound. Words? Music? Perhaps both. I hear it all in the soft whispers of the wind itself. It almost seems to brush against my mind, as if requesting entry. Though the sound is vague, the messages are understood. Understood because they are poetic somehow. With the intonation of every hiss and swish, The wind performs its own spoken word. A second sound begins to join the first. It sounds almost like the snapping of many fingers, and I understand as a few raindrops kiss my face, hair, and shoulders. After a little while, the smells, sounds, and feelings begin to slowly fade, and I’m back in my room. I smile, though it is somewhat bittersweet, as I take a drink of my still warm coffee.

I find myself very contemplative as I write this. I’m not fighting to write, or rather, not having to let my imagination be tapped into by fog, which is a fun way to vanquish your enemy and make it do the very thing you wanted. Actually, that’s a joke. Sort of. I find that letting it take over, have the spotlight, lead me, it’s still easier to write. It’s not going away, leaving me in the lurch, and I’m not apprehensive about trying to write anymore, because even if I can’t think, can’t concentrate on what I originally wanted, I know that it will probably take me somewhere just as interesting. 
I decide to summon it now, because it’s kind of hard to explain how I’m thinking right now. Strange for a writer, I know, but not so much if you just go about it a different way. All right, enough boring you with my ramblings. 

I sit back, and let the fog encompass me, until the scene in my head comes into focus. I’m in a strange chamber. The shape is… indiscernible; there are no windows, and many doors, a small wooden chair the only piece of furniture. My footsteps echo on the floor. Tile? Or marble? The doors all look the same, arched, sturdy, and with an iron handle. Some are tucked into corners, alcoves, and archways, and some are along corridors, long and short. Some are close together, some farther apart, and some seem to stand alone. As I explore, I notice that some of the halls join and meet others, or split and branch. I decide to keep exploring the hall I’m already in. I open the closest door. Behind it is another room, this one small, with brightly painted walls, and another door on the other side. I think for a moment. Should I go to the other door? There are so many others… I finally decide to just go peek. I gasp when I open it; there are gold nuggets, jewels, and raw precious stones everywherE. I chuckle. It’s just like a dragon’s hoard, though I see no where for such a beast to enter. I slowly reach out and pick up a small stone, about the size of a dime. It’s plastic. I should’ve guessed. I drop it, then pick something else up with a shrug. Oh… this is a regular stone, although it’s lovely; like a stone I wrote of in one of my poems. I slip it into my pocket, having a strange compulsion to keep it. I reach to explore more, but an invisible force keeps my hand from touching something that looks gold. Curious. After a moment, I shut the door and exit the bright room. The next door opens upon a blast of wind that nearly knocks me back. It is dim, but it looks as if there is a path I couLd travel if I chose. However, it would be a struggle against the wind, and I’m not sure how long it is, or where it goes. I close the door, and decide that I could explore, but that I’d need to be more prepared. I take a turn in another hall, this one longer, with curves and turns. When I come to the end and open the door, I just stand there. A plain, tiny stone room, with no other exits or windows; a dead end room. Why is this even here? I shut the door firmly, and make my way back through the long, twisting hall. I come to a nook with a single door. I open it; before me is a beautiful wooded path, the trees along either side close together, their branches arching up to make a canopy. I take a cautious step forward, and then another. Nothing seems to be amiss… Just as I’m wondering if I should head down this path, I notice what looks like a cave entrance a little ways away, presumably at the end of the path. I continue walking. The hard packed dirt under my feet is a bit uneven, but not hard to traverse. The temperature is perfect; there is a slight breeze, and dapples of soft sunlight peek through the canopy in some places. After a while of walking, I begin to get thirsty, but there’s no water around. Thankfully, I approach the cave soon after, and cautiously enter. There is a gentle slope, and at the bottom, there is a small pool to one side, and a door on the other. The water looks clean and clear, so I cup my hands and drink before moving through the door. I am now back in another Hall. This one is long, but straight, with a great deal of doors. With a shrug, I open the one I’m closest to. I raise my eyebrows. It looks like… Just… Trash. Odds and ends, crumpled paper, little pieces of wood and plastic and a couple of other unidentifiable materials. My finger catches on something; a length of leather cord With a piece of bent, but sturdy looking, thin silver wire knotted onto it. Maybe something that was once a piece of jewelry? I look at it for a moment with a thoughtful frown, and then slip it into my pocket. I’m not sure why, But I feel like maybe I could use it somehow… Maybe for… Yes, I could probably wrap the wire around the pretty stone in my pocket somehow, and turn it into a necklace. I take the cord back out of my pocket, and straighten the wire. A bit difficult to do with just my fingers, but manageable. I take the stone out of my pocket and wrap the wire around it once, twisting it tightly while trying to keep the stone from moving, and then Pulling the ends of wire over the other two sides to secure it. I twist a couple of times To close the wire, and almost stab myself trying to tuck in the sharp points. Finally, though, it is done. I adjust the cord and slip it around my neck. Something else catches my attention, and I laugh wryly. A small canteen, a bit dusty, but perfectly serviceable. I guess sometimes it’s true what they say… One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I don’t see anything else useful, so I exit. The next door that I come to will not open. I try pushing on it, wiggling and twisting the handle, and even yanking on it, to no avail. The same thing happens with the next one I try, and the next, and three more. Finally, I come to a door that opens. There is another small hallway that sort of curves back-and-forth in a type of snake pattern, but when I come to the end, there is nothing but a wall. Retracing my steps, I try the next door. It opens onto… Darkness. Complete and total darkness. Somehow, not even light from outside seeps in. I cautiously reach out a hand through the doorway, trying to feel around for any obstacles. Nothing. Then, A sudden oppressiveness moves through me; it feels foreboding, and the darkness is strangely slightly vacuous. I pull back my arm… And my bones turn to water. My hand, and most of my forearm is gone. Just… Completely gone, as if I never had that part of my arm in the first place. There is no pain, no gore, no blood. My arm simply… Ends just slightly below my elbow. My blood is icy with terror as I stare. It feels like the darkness is trying to slowly expand out of the room; I slam the door shut. If I Had gone further… I back away from the door and shiver violently. I don’t know how to get the rest of my arm back! I don’t understand how it happened! Desperately, I summon a bit of the fog around my limb and try to re-create it, to make it whole again. Thankfully, after a moment, it works. I flex my fingers to make sure, and then touch my face, the wall, my other hand. I grasp the handle of another door, but I am shaking, and am afraid to open it. After a very, very long moment, I slowly inch the panel back. This one looks to be another nature scene. The grass is lush and green, the trees are tall and old, there is a babbling brook of crystal clear water, and I can hear a concert of nature. However, it looks as if I am hemmed in on all sides by underbrush that is too thick to go through. So, in a sense, this is another dead end, albeit a beautiful one. The next door opens onto a brick wall that reaches above my head, but does not touch the ceiling. There is no way around it, and I have no way to climb over it or break through… So I shut yet another door, and try another. This one is… Interesting. It is another hallway, made different only by the sconces in intervals along the walls, each one with a lit candle that throws pools of light across the otherwise shadowed passage. I hesitate, understandably, before taking a very slow, very cautious step forward. Nothing happens. I continue, walking slowly. This path feels… a bit mysterious for some reason. There is something that I can’t quite place, but thankfully, it doesn’t feel evil, foreboding, or dangerous in any way. Although, I have a strange mixture of feelings… peacefulness, curiosity, and oddly, the slightest bit of unsettlement, although that could just be me. As I follow the gentle curve, I realize that it is gradually sloping upwards as well. After a few more moments, I open the door at the end, and gasp. The scene before me is a landscape that seems to be made of ice and snow. Drifts are piled high on either side, and yet more snowflakes fall in a never ending shower. The wind seems to blow from all directions. For a moment, I think about turning back, but then I notice that the path is fairly short. I can just see another door a little distance away. The cold bites into every part of my body. I turn around, but the door is gone, replaced by a high snow bank. I hurry along the path. Already it feels like I am beginning to freeze, but just a couple more feet ahead and I reach the door. My numb fingers fumble a moment before I finally stumble across the threshold. I… I don’t believe it! I’m back at the very beginning! Where I first started! I’m standing in the vaguely circular juncture of all of the twisting, turning, crossing corridors, and all the other little corners and nooks! I am still extremely cold, shivering and moving around to try and get warm again. Then, I feel something… somewhere... a subtle shift. I watch as the little wooden chair in front of me transforms into a small couch with thick, soft looking cushions and high arms. Some of the halls disappear, to be replaced buy a fireplace. I slowly walk over to the couch and sink down, just staring at the dancing flames as they begin stretching their fingers of warmth out to me. So, I’m here again, only now it’s slightly different. I did all that looking around, all that exploring, all that walking and… I glance down at my hand again and shiver. I’m not sure where exactly I’m supposed to go or what I’m supposed to do. I curl up on the cushions and close my eyes. Although it is warm and peaceful here, I find that my eyes are stinging with tears. I sigh softly and just rest, since that seems all I can do right now. I feel a bit hungry. Then, with only a thought, I realize I have conjured up food and drink. I begin to feel sleepy now, and in my half drifting state, I think I hear whispers and other soft sounds coming from other hallways and behind doors and around corners. I push it all away, because I’m pretty sure it’s only my imagination. After a moment, there is just the soft hiss and pop of the fire. I curl into a more comfortable position, and wish that I had someone here with me. Then, I feel a presence; someone beside me, their arms around me. But I am almost enveloped by sleep now, and I can’t tell. Is that real, or am I just imagining it, too? I wish, and hope, that it is real, that there is someone here, as I fall into slumber.

This is the second installment of the brain fog adventures. This one was stubborn, and refused a handle, so nameless it shall be. :P

I lift my head from my shoulder yet again, and set my keyboard aside. Air hisses through my teeth as I pull myself up straighter. Lovely… Now I’m hot, sweaty, and painfully stiff. I’m not going to be able to write anymore today anyway. How is my brain supposed to work properly in this heat? My limbs are weighed down with lethargy, and my head feels like a stuffed animal. It’s all just blurry and foggy and… Foggy? Oh, so this is happening again, is it? Well, it’s literally how I feel, so why not? All I really want is to cool off and have my head cleared. I squawk with surprise as I feel my body hit water. Holy iceballs! Actually, it isn’t really that cold, though it feels like it at first. I find that my feet can touch bottom, and the water is about shoulder height when I stand straight. I let my eyes fall closed with a sigh as my head slips under briefly and then emerges. Without thinking, I begin lazily swimming around. It feels really, really good in here now. Not too cold, and thankfully, not too warm. For the first time, I notice that my feet are touching mostly smooth stone instead of sand. Interesting. I look around. I am glad that my head is not under water, because the scene before me is breathtaking. I am in what appears to be a spring, the water gently flowing around me. There are some uneven spots in the stone; even a few places to sit around the edge where it is a bit shallower. A foot or two from the pool, the stone gives way to grass, trees dotting the terrain, and I can see mountains rolling away in the distance. I’m not sure if the stone and grass is geographically or geologically correct, especially since I haven’t been very many places, but it doesn’t matter all that much. I could change this place into a cave if I wanted to. I don’t; it appeals to me very much. The temperature is still very hot, but the water is refreshing, the sky is cloudy, and there’s a soft breeze. All things that I enjoy. I am content to just swim, float, let the water wash over my skin. I suddenly blink, and then blush. Well… I’ve never… But I am alone out here, after all. I share an impish grin of satisfaction with myself, and whatever little creatures may be around me. I keep moving languidly around in the water. It feels so very wonderful… I could stay here all day. I decide to do just that. When night begins to fall, I use the uneven stone to climb out, and lie in the grass. This time the breeze moves over my skin, slowly helping me dry off. I close my eyes and smile. I can hear the quiet hiss of wind moving through the trees, crickets, a few birds, and a rumble in the distance. Thunder. I tilt my face towards the sky, letting another breeze kiss my skin. Then... I open my eyes… Everything has faded, and I am back in my apartment. I sigh longingly, and head for the temporary relief of a long, cool shower.